Agent 54 : Is a regular guy. He has a sense of humor and an active imagination. He works for the Nominal Secrets Apparatus (NSA) under the DORD (Department of Redundancy Department) as a Listener/Reader. His job is to read, view or listen to data collected by the NSA and determine if there is a risk to national security. He reports to his bosses, H. Cuffs and Max (Agent 86). He doesn’t take his job too seriously because he knows he’s spying on regular people most of the time.
Sunday, May 7, 2017
here again. Well, Saturday was Kentucky
Derby day in America and that means funny hats, Mint Julips and horseys. I always wanted a pony. I never wanted a race horse. Just an old steed with no name as a buddy to
wonder about the dessert with. Anyway, I
got to spy on group of friends who were wearing funny hats, sipping Mint Julips
and discussing the event. Here’s my
building looks like a large stable but, inside it’s a horse racing themed bar
with lots of wood furniture, wooden bar and lots of pictures of horses and
jockey and lots of horse racing paraphernalia on the walls. A group of friends occupies most of the bar. It’s several hours before the race.
boy, I can’t wait to bet $100 on “McCraken”.
You know Tim McCraken was a mean
Ice Hockey player in the old movie “Slapshot” and I think “McCraken” is a mean
horse and it takes a mean horse to win The Kentucky Derby.
don’t take no mean horse to win the race.
It takes a fast horse. Hey
Donkey, where’d you get that stupid hat?
Man, it looks like a dollar store shower curtain.
What? I got it at the race track
gift shop. It’s a nice hat. They said everyone would be wearing
them. Why ain’t you got no hat on?
Sheesh, hats are for domesticated animals.
Mr. Ed (to Flicka)
Whoa there. Well, Aren’t you Mr.
Wild and Free. I got a hat on just to
feel like more of a part of the festivities.
Nobody cares what it looks like.
Si, a fancy sombrero is just part of the fun. Say Mr. Donkey, isn’t it your turn to buy the
next round of Tequila?
Indeed, it is my turn to buy but, we ain’t drinking no Tequila. Bartender!
A round of Mint Julips for my friends.
I love Kentucky Derby Day and I love my new hat and I love Mint Julips.
good hat was always very important for the Lone Ranger. Now, Donkey’s hat choice was very smart. He knew we’d be drinking all these Mint
With that hat, Donkey
never has to worry about having a place to puke.
the horses, donkeys, burros, mules ect..in the bar crack up laughing except
poor ole Donkey.
Donkey (under his breath) I don’t care what they say, this is a nice
hat and I ain’t ever gonna puke in it.
Don’t let them get to ya, Donkey.
They’re just kidding and their hats are no
better than yours.
Roy Rogers and Trigger
Ed’s hat is better, if you’re into hats and running with the crowd.
forget the hats. What do you guys think
of “Fast an Accurate” in this race? He’s
getting 34-1 odds.
and Accurate”? Is that a horse or a
secretary in the steno pool? I like “Gunnevera”
Baba Looey: Si,
“Gunnevera” is going to win the race.
you are Baba, give me a hoof-pump.
(don’t try hoof-pumps at home)
guys are nuts! “Untrapped” is gonna ride
a wave of pure Freedom to victory and make me very rich at 80-1.
Mr. Ed: Yeah,
then you can buy that house in the suburbs you always wanted, eh Flicka?
way! After “Untrapped” wins, you guys
will never see me again.
Oye, do not quit your day job, Mr. Flicka.
at the bar cracks up laughing again.
after the race at the same bar with the same friends and everyone is a little
wetter, a little drunker and a little poorer.
Donkey: Man, I
knew I should have bet on number 5.
Number 5 has always been my favorite number. Cinco de Mayo has always been favorite
holiday. Yeah, number 5 all the way.
Mr. Ed: Yeah
Donkey, I guess “McCraken” was all he was “McCrakened” up to be.
“McCraken” sounds like something you get for breakfast at a fast food place,
not a fast horse.
Baba Looey: Mr.
Flicka, I’m sorry “Untrapped” didn’t win.
Do you need Quicksdraw and me to help you find a new job?
off shorty, That race was fixed by the
same corporations that enslave you guys and you don’t even know it.
well, “Gunnevera” turned out to be a real refugee from the glue factory.
and “Fast and Accurate” was actually “Slow and Sloppy”. Hey Ed,
Lone Ranger and Silver
You’re a know-it-all. Who’d you blow your money on?
(slurring his words) Shoot! I paid $20 for a tip for the name of some nag
that I’m not sure if it really ran in the race.
I think I had too many Mint Julips.
Hey Donkey! Quick, gimme your haaaaat!
your own damn hat! This is a nice
hat. I’m keepin this hat and I’m gonna
wear it every day to remind me of the fun I had with my friends here today,
So none of this
equestrian gang could pick the winner.
Congratulations to “Always Dreaming” and better luck next year to the